Learning to Regulate Emotions |
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There are a number of reasons why children vary in the way they express and manage their emotions. These variations may be due to events that impact children and families at times, such as severe or chronic illness, trauma, or difficult social circumstances. Variations in children’s emotional expression may be influenced by specific family or cultural values and by differences in children’s temperaments.
Culture
Children learn different ways of expressing emotion based on what is regarded as normal within their family and culture. Some families and cultures encourage children to express a range of emotions while other families encourage children not to display certain emotions, such as anger or pride. These differences also influence the ways children learn to regulate their emotions. |
Temperament
Learning to regulate emotions is more difficult for some children than for others. This may be due to their particular emotional temperament. Some children feel emotions intensely and easily. They are more emotionally reactive and find it harder to calm down. Some of these children react to frustration by getting angry. They may act impulsively and find it hard to control their emotions. Some children who are emotionally reactive get anxious more quickly and easily than other children. It is often difficult for children with anxious temperaments to develop strategies to manage their fears. They often try to avoid situations that worry them. |
Tuning into children’s emotions involves looking at their body language, listening to what they are saying and how they are saying it, and observing their behavior. This allows you to respond more effectively to children’s needs and to offer more specific guidance to help children manage their emotions.
Helping children learn to accept feelings and to understand the links between feelings and behavior supports their emotional development. Providing effective support for children’s emotional development starts with paying attention to their feelings and noticing how they manage them. By acknowledging children’s emotional responses and providing guidance, parents and early childhood educators can help children understand and accept feelings, and develop effective strategies for managing them.
Take opportunities to talk with children and teach them about emotions. This will help children to become more aware of their own emotions as well as those of others. Encouraging children to feel comfortable with their emotions and providing them with practice in talking about their feelings helps children to further develop ways to manage their emotions. Children learn about emotions and how to express them appropriately by watching others – especially their caregivers. Showing children, the ways you understand and manage emotions helps children learn from your example.
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Optional Resource for Further Study
- Self-Regulation: A Cornerstone of Early Childhood Development, Linda Groves Gillespie and Nancy L. Seibel
- Emotional Regulation: Developing Toddlers’ Social Competence, Nur E. Tanyel
- Youtube Video: Child Temperament: How We Start to Become Ourselves | David C Rettew | TEDxBurlingtonED
- Youtube Video: Classroom Tools for Social Emotional Development , Jeanne Hopkins
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